Tis the season to be thankful!

And I have a LOT to be thankful for. A gracious husband who married me! A beautiful healthy baby girl! A surprise that I cant mention yet because its not time. A home, a permanent home base that is! Some friends here in PA. Horses that I found to be in my life =]
ANNNND my dog Captian who is an asshole at times ;P
 I am also thankful for Curly T and her Hubby who have always been supportive of me.
I have much much more to be thankful for but I'm not ready to write it all yet.

Fleeing summer! Vacations! And Weight!

So its the wind family back at you again!
 We have been busy busy arguing and traveling and being away from each other ( or well getting ready to be apart for a little while.) While one member of our family is getting ready to go abroad, and despising the very thought of it, the rest of us are trying to busy ourselves playing with the kitty and going to the parks and beaches.
 We have been all the way to MAINE this year! It is quite lovely up there when it's not all cloudy, cold and rainy. I killed (or photoshot) the dead moose hanging up at the Chapmann Inn in Bethel ME. We roomed with a wedding party that was quite entertaining,( and whom got the moose drunken one night!)
 We then went to Il, SD, ME again and PA a few times. It was quite a round about adventure of stress and fun.  My star girl spent her 30 days of summer vaca with her "daddy" who abundantly got his family to treat me like baca (poop,) and start the battle of the wits. It STANK to high heavens. But Star girl has not lost her mojo (rules, fun attitude, adventurousness,) this time. And has been doing many many fun things with me since she got home!I missed her like I would have been missing my right arm!
 Anyway we are back on track! And hanging out in lovely MI!
Love the Wind people

So you want to cook up a storm?

Haha My reading list is FULL of blogs about food. And I can't cook right now! I'm really missing having an oven but it wont be too long and I will have one again =] Excitinggg! Anyway Just wanted you all to know that I the horrid typist am not dead as of yet. ;p

What a Rough ride..

Things haven't exactly been pretty on the flip side. While we were knowing we were leaving Iowa soon, I had to have my gallbladder removed! It was terrible. I am all healed up now. 
 We are going through hell with relationship shit. I did some wrong things and he did some wrong things but two WRONGS don't make a right. I have apologized but I may be getting removed from the equation.. Which is making me miserable, and begging to stay. I hate that I am going through this AGAIN. Just because I did something that you don't like doesn't mean we should just QUIT, but if we do just quit I guess that means that I wasn't worth your time anyway, and that you were just another frog. Which is a fact that I will probably never get over. I may end up a lonely old spinster who has a kid. I'm disappointed in my life at the moment and I know that yes I am the only one to blame for that..
While no one likes hearing the down and dirty parts of life. I have to talk about this. ANY ONE who EVER says anything about my parents suicide mission.. Be ready for an ass kicking at that second. EVEN IF I LOVE YOU I WILL KICK YOUR ASS or at least hit you without thinking. WHO THE HECK wouldn't? And yes I am expecting an apology for that one even if things go way south.
 I am praying like the devil is trying to catch me (which he has been trying VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY hard to do. I wish GOD would frickin step in and hold my hand right now but.. He seems distant just like always. Until I typed this that is. I spent three hours this morning praying that God would help me fall asleep. Three hours later I fell asleep but then Dear loved one's alarm went off bah! Why do you have to work so slowly I DO NOT WANT PATIENCE anymore I WANT HAPPINESS and a HUSBAND and a FAMILY and another baby would be great =] But I also want to be treated the way I try to treat others with the golden rule I dont want to just be pleasing one person I want to be pleased to yes that is selfish but its how humans work right God?
 Guess I should go ask and point in the bible .. I just hope I get an answer that I like..
 -A very frustrated mama.

More like the turbine stopped turning..

Things suck right now
I dont know what to do or how to be acting =/
blah
Miss windy..

I Feel like pulling my hair out and throwing it to the wind.

I have to break out of the box I keep letting get built up around me by the past.. UGH I need help to stay out of that box.. it effected today.. and has affected some one else..darn you past.. GO AWAY all of it.. the part where he hurt me and the part where they hurt me and the part where the brazillian hurt me and all the other people I have hurt. UGH.. just go away box.. now..today has been mostly ruined.. thanks beth.. you are great for that.. granted.. being taken for granted.. its not fun.. and we all do it.. we should all stop doing it..I am thankful for everything that I have learned in the past five years.. and the chance to have met and to  be with Ryan Mervine.. but.. we are driving each other crazy...

 A little spilled milk IS NOTHING TO CRY OVER. or to make ANYONE cry over.. it's just spilled milk.. or in some cases pineapple juice.

 I hate that I over react but when it feels like you are putting some one down.. I will over react.. especially when it comes to Star girl or myself.

and yes I am an emotional mess right now I dont feel like moving at all let alone making sure the house is clean and that estrella is doing something outside the house.. and blah blah blah sorry . I will cry because I have been trying to do all of those things, and You just yelled at our star. YOU have no RIGHT to yell OVER SPILLED MILK.. NEVER EVER..Im so ranting right now because IM pissed and I feel like running away but Im not running away because my heart says STAY beth STAY because you LOVE this MAN.. who isnt acting at all like the man you want raising your child.. 

=/ It's frusterating.

and I really hope that the wrong people dont read this.. because I am just ranting and being irrational. it happens right.

Halloween!

Well it's halloween! And we are on to trick or treating.
I love halloween it's like my new year, or my christmas all combined.. It is my favorite holiday because well.. you know.. FREE CANDY and usually there are buffets and stuff at friends houses.. well That's one reason to miss south dakota.. people out here.. don't like halloween that much.. or well um.. their kids are sick.. or they just dont like trick or treating.. HAVE you ever heard of a kid that doesn't like trick or treating.. well..
just saying lol..
I guess that.. I love halloween so much I would do it every day if it were possible!
 Maybe that's just the maniac in me =]
I cannot wait to go trick or treating, and I cannot wait to watch some scary movies tonight!
 SO...I hope you are dressed up and going to trick or treat or hit up the library..
And I heard a very good point that mocking the devil is something he cannot take. So why not mock him on all hallows eve :)
  PS.. God if you could let Ryan off work early.. that would be grand :P Just thought Id shoot that out there since you are you know.. every where :)
   In your twisted turbine's wifes hand
Love ya.